I dont know what to say...Im sick of writing. I dont have anything anymore. I dont mean that like that, I dont mean my life is worthless right now. I have friends for once that dont make me feel like crying and I have a better outlook on things, and I have so many things like a house and new clothes and everything. But I just feel like thats not enough. I feel like nothing is or ever will be. Im so whiny and stupid. The only thing that would ever make me want to live forever or make me complete is that one thing I can never ever ever have. And it doesnt even hurt when I think about that now, I am past caring. Its all a numb feeling. A dull ache. I can move on. But for what? Give me a reason to pack my bags and move to a new horizon. I just want one. And then I'll try...but until then I am just going to sit here and drown in this boredom and this uselessness that hides everything.