I'm obsessed with being alone lately. I use to hate being alone and now I can barely stand to be in public. My mom and I went downtown yesterday and saw Farenheit 9/11 which I really enjoyed. She kept making us wander around downtown and I kept getting really antsy and annoyed by all the people. She kept going, "mellow out and just enjoy being downtown" and I just replied by going, "can we go now? please! i want to go to my nice little safe room. lets go mom!" Then today I went and saw The Notebook with my old friend Chelsea who lives in vancouver and the whole theatre was sobbing so I was pretty amused and then we went downtown for the third eye blind concert where I saw none other then Jill. For about a second. I was still feeling a bit sick though, and then later I came home and locked myself into my hella hot, oven of a room and crashed. I've been on this weird schedule of staying up until 4-5 in the morning and then waking up at twelve and going out all day, then coming back at 5:30 and sleeping until 8. Then I get up and spend the rest of the night locked in my room writing, reading, listening to music, sweating profusely, giggling to myself, and feeling really happy for once in my life. And for once it's just me making me happy you know, I'm not depending on any nonexistant guy or any of my distant, going away friends or any affection/praise from my family or a stranger to make me happy. I'm doing it all by my lonesome. And it feels really fucking good, you know?
Anyway. Summer school starts next tuesday but I'm not dreading it or anything, I'm actually kind of looking forward to learning about our history. When i was younger I was obsessed with learning and going to school because I found it so fun and interesting (dont ask) but then I grew up and school switched to hell and I never loathed anything more then going there to "learn" in those prison classes. Weirdly, I think my old excitement is starting to resurface. Just a little bit though.