I'm slowly losing my friends. Next thing I know I will be totally alone. Maybe thats how its supposed to be, but it sure feels shitty. And I don't know how to operate without someone there to keep my mind off things, everyone is dissapearing wether by leaving the country, switcing schools, or finally waking up and realizing I am worthless shit and they don't like me. It's so hard to get through nights without crying, but fuck I have too because I hate the image of me in my head looking so weak and stupid with running mascara and strangled breaths. It's sick. It's disgusting. It's not beauty. And either am I.